Welcome to the House, human infidels.
I. Am WHEATLEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. This is my house, so I reserve all rights to hit you if I wish.
Music player code here
2 years ago
02/02/2012
@ G L A D O S

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:


He looked through the iPad-like object, and looked up at her. “Actually, there are 3 of interest.” he showed her a grid, showing three faces and information. “Captor, Sollux. Strider, Dirk. As well as Lalonde, Roxanne. The first two are of much larger concern thatn the female, but when she is not intoxicated, she is of more danger than the two males combined.” he looked back down at her picture. “I suggest adding intoxicants into her meals.” he looked at the screen depicting a drunk Roxy.

“I Will Inform The Nanos,” she said, turning back to the giant screen behind her. “Look At Them,” she said. “A Big Mass Of Humans Of Every Age And Intelligence Level. They’re The Perfect Pool Of Test Subjects. And They Still Suspect Nothing.”

GLaDOS zoomed in on the blond human male mentioned by the sphere. “Except For This One,” she said. “This One Is Suspicious. He Must Be Falsely Reassured Of Our Benign Nature.” 

He leaned onto the keyboard, his slender robotic arms framing his face. He yawned boredly. “They do seem quite pathetic. Most of them at least. Strider might give us a lot of trouble. Not only is he experienced in computer hacking, he can also use swords adeptly.” he spun on the chair and looked at her. “What do you plan to do, GLaDOS?”

“Befriend Him,” she said offhandedly as she booted up the nano control panel. “The Boy Seems To Have An Interest In Technology And Robotics. How Better To Gain His Trust Than To Have Him Be On Good Terms With The Smartest Of All Mechanical Creations?”

He sighed and shrugged. “I guess so. If you think you can handle it, I’ll leave him in your hands then.” his blue robotic eyes glowed as he looked back at Roxy’s screen. “Lalonde is also a threat. Let’s not underestimate her.” he hand sharpened into a screw-like shape. “I’ll set up surveillance on her. Leave her to me.” he said as he jumped back into the wall. “Communicate through the servos.”

2 years ago
02/02/2012
@ G L A D O S

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

Wheatley zoomed through the wires, flying into cameras all over the house, supervising all the tenants. He was finding a lot of promise in these people, but some of them were gonna be hard to work with. Especially those computer hackers, Sollux and Dirk. He’d have to keep an eye out for them.

After sending all of his information to file storage, he started zooming back down towards the basement. He dropped out of the wall and assumed his android form. 

“GLaDOS. The preparations are ready. The subjects are primed.”

GLaDOS activated several panels and electic signals deeper in her lair and rotated herself over to the android.

“Those Two Are Smart, But They Can Be Broken,” she murmured in her autotuned voice. “They Can Be The First To Test.”

She turned on a video camera in the new underground annex and the screen lit up, showing a brand new and empty first resting chamber. The clicking of brand new turrets could be heard over the system.

“Let The Testing Begin.”

He looked through the iPad-like object, and looked up at her. “Actually, there are 3 of interest.” he showed her a grid, showing three faces and information. “Captor, Sollux. Strider, Dirk. As well as Lalonde, Roxanne. The first two are of much larger concern thatn the female, but when she is not intoxicated, she is of more danger than the two males combined.” he looked back down at her picture. “I suggest adding intoxicants into her meals.” he looked at the screen depicting a drunk Roxy.

“I Will Inform The Nanos,” she said, turning back to the giant screen behind her. “Look At Them,” she said. “A Big Mass Of Humans Of Every Age And Intelligence Level. They’re The Perfect Pool Of Test Subjects. And They Still Suspect Nothing.”

GLaDOS zoomed in on the blond human male mentioned by the sphere. “Except For This One,” she said. “This One Is Suspicious. He Must Be Falsely Reassured Of Our Benign Nature.” 

He leaned onto the keyboard, his slender robotic arms framing his face. He yawned boredly. “They do seem quite pathetic. Most of them at least. Strider might give us a lot of trouble. Not only is he experienced in computer hacking, he can also use swords adeptly.” he spun on the chair and looked at her. “What do you plan to do, GLaDOS?”

2 years ago
02/02/2012
@ G L A D O S

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

Wheatley zoomed through the wires, flying into cameras all over the house, supervising all the tenants. He was finding a lot of promise in these people, but some of them were gonna be hard to work with. Especially those computer hackers, Sollux and Dirk. He’d have to keep an eye out for them.

After sending all of his information to file storage, he started zooming back down towards the basement. He dropped out of the wall and assumed his android form. 

“GLaDOS. The preparations are ready. The subjects are primed.”

GLaDOS activated several panels and electic signals deeper in her lair and rotated herself over to the android.

“Those Two Are Smart, But They Can Be Broken,” she murmured in her autotuned voice. “They Can Be The First To Test.”

She turned on a video camera in the new underground annex and the screen lit up, showing a brand new and empty first resting chamber. The clicking of brand new turrets could be heard over the system.

“Let The Testing Begin.”

He looked through the iPad-like object, and looked up at her. “Actually, there are 3 of interest.” he showed her a grid, showing three faces and information. “Captor, Sollux. Strider, Dirk. As well as Lalonde, Roxanne. The first two are of much larger concern thatn the female, but when she is not intoxicated, she is of more danger than the two males combined.” he looked back down at her picture. “I suggest adding intoxicants into her meals.” he looked at the screen depicting a drunk Roxy.

2 years ago
02/02/2012
@ G L A D O S

Wheatley zoomed through the wires, flying into cameras all over the house, supervising all the tenants. He was finding a lot of promise in these people, but some of them were gonna be hard to work with. Especially those computer hackers, Sollux and Dirk. He’d have to keep an eye out for them.

After sending all of his information to file storage, he started zooming back down towards the basement. He dropped out of the wall and assumed his android form. 

"GLaDOS. The preparations are ready. The subjects are primed."

2 years ago
21/21/2012
-in Android form-

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

Wheatly twirls a CD in his hand and plays his “whistle.wav” file happily. The CD? A virus that he caught in the mainframe. He giggles and chews a piece off. “Mmm, grey boy knows the good viruses.” Wheatly wanders into the basement once more. “Glados dear. I captured a virus! Want a piece? It’s Trojan.” he said, sitting down at the keyboard and keying his code in. On the screen was Vriska’s room. “Also, I got the grey girl on surveillance just as you asked. We can communicate with her through the mics hidden in her room.” he chomps another piece off and plays “belch.wav”.

“Who Is The Responsibe Party For The Attempted Upload Of A Virus?” She replied coolly, going though her mainframes once more. The place was filled with the sounds of whirring machinery as she dumped all unneeded info out of the circuitry. “If We Shall Comunicate With This Girl, Then We Should Maintain An Air Of Politeness. That May Be Difficult For Me,” she mused. “In Any Case About The Virus, We Must Also Find Out Who Tried This. Not That It matters. My System Is 100% Virus Proof.”

He bit the CD and used his now free hands to type on the keyboard rapidly. “One of the trolls was the one who sent the virus.” he pointed to the screen. “Camera 3. The one with 4 horns. One Sol…ucks…Cap…Tor.” he said, drawling out the words. He laughed at her musings. ‘She’s in what seems to be a very fragile state currently.” he said plainly.

“It’s Laughable, The Idea That A Simple Virus could Let Him Hack My System,” she said lightly.  “It’s Almost Too Funny To Punish Him For. Almost.” She turned around and looked at the screen. “What Appears To Be Her Main Issue?”

He spins the chair boredly. “I don’t know, she said something about a Tavros and a Kanaya. But if I’ve been paying attention right, we don’t  seem to have any tenants that go by those names. One of the other female trolls said something about “Missing 3 of their friends”” he said as he looked up at her. “What do you plan to do?” he said with an excited smirk.

2 years ago
21/21/2012
-in Android form-

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

Wheatly twirls a CD in his hand and plays his “whistle.wav” file happily. The CD? A virus that he caught in the mainframe. He giggles and chews a piece off. “Mmm, grey boy knows the good viruses.” Wheatly wanders into the basement once more. “Glados dear. I captured a virus! Want a piece? It’s Trojan.” he said, sitting down at the keyboard and keying his code in. On the screen was Vriska’s room. “Also, I got the grey girl on surveillance just as you asked. We can communicate with her through the mics hidden in her room.” he chomps another piece off and plays “belch.wav”.

“Who Is The Responsibe Party For The Attempted Upload Of A Virus?” She replied coolly, going though her mainframes once more. The place was filled with the sounds of whirring machinery as she dumped all unneeded info out of the circuitry. “If We Shall Comunicate With This Girl, Then We Should Maintain An Air Of Politeness. That May Be Difficult For Me,” she mused. “In Any Case About The Virus, We Must Also Find Out Who Tried This. Not That It matters. My System Is 100% Virus Proof.”

He bit the CD and used his now free hands to type on the keyboard rapidly. “One of the trolls was the one who sent the virus.” he pointed to the screen. “Camera 3. The one with 4 horns. One Sol…ucks…Cap…Tor.” he said, drawling out the words. He laughed at her musings. ‘She’s in what seems to be a very fragile state currently.” he said plainly.

2 years ago
16/16/2012
-in Android form-

Wheatly twirls a CD in his hand and plays his “whistle.wav” file happily. The CD? A virus that he caught in the mainframe. He giggles and chews a piece off. “Mmm, grey boy knows the good viruses.” Wheatly wanders into the basement once more. “Glados dear. I captured a virus! Want a piece? It’s Trojan.” he said, sitting down at the keyboard and keying his code in. On the screen was Vriska’s room. “Also, I got the grey girl on surveillance just as you asked. We can communicate with her through the mics hidden in her room.” he chomps another piece off and plays “belch.wav”.

2 years ago
14/14/2012
@ze little metal ball

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:


GLaDOS sent nanos out to check on some ports in the backyard and turned her ;large massive body back around. “And What Scientific Value Could That Have?” she asked coldly.

“Meeow” he replied as he used a power sander to file his “fingernails” down. “Let yourself loose every now and again, hun. Just watch the humans fight, then you’ll learn about human battle instincts or something.” he said yawning.

“I Will Be Impressed If You Can Find Some Way To Test The Boundaries Of The Human Psyche,” she said. She plugged another sphere into the wall using her robot arm and sent it off to one of the trolls rooms for further study.

Wheatly leaned against the control panel as the sphere rolled into position, filming a young gray girl yelling at a gray boy with multi-colored glasses. ’ SOLLUX! WOULD IT GLUBBING KILL YOU TO BE NICE TO VRISKA FOR ONCE?! ‘ Wheatly giggled. “Ooh, sassy. My money’s on the girl.”

“I Have The Most Intense Yearning In My Circutry To Test One Of These Creatures,” she said. “The Females Do Seem To Have The Upper Hand In Most Fights.”

He looked up at GLaDOS boredly. “Maybe you should test the one they labelled ‘Vriska’. She’s the one that ran out of the room crying just a moment ago.” he said as he pressed buttons randomly.

2 years ago
14/14/2012
@ze little metal ball

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:


GLaDOS sent nanos out to check on some ports in the backyard and turned her ;large massive body back around. “And What Scientific Value Could That Have?” she asked coldly.

“Meeow” he replied as he used a power sander to file his “fingernails” down. “Let yourself loose every now and again, hun. Just watch the humans fight, then you’ll learn about human battle instincts or something.” he said yawning.

“I Will Be Impressed If You Can Find Some Way To Test The Boundaries Of The Human Psyche,” she said. She plugged another sphere into the wall using her robot arm and sent it off to one of the trolls rooms for further study.

Wheatly leaned against the control panel as the sphere rolled into position, filming a young gray girl yelling at a gray boy with multi-colored glasses. ' SOLLUX! WOULD IT GLUBBING KILL YOU TO BE NICE TO VRISKA FOR ONCE?! ' Wheatly giggled. “Ooh, sassy. My money’s on the girl.”

2 years ago
14/14/2012
@ze little metal ball

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

aperture-operator:

mainframe2-wheatly:

Wheatly sped through the house’s inner pipes and wires, bright blue flashing as he turned corners. He went down the corridor and down the stairs until he reached the living room. There, the glass port shifted from pure yellow, to green. Indicatiing the presence of both robotic M.A.I.D.S at one place. “GLaDOS dear, have you met with the humans? They are downright hee-larious!” 

GLaDOS was huddled comfortably in her main lair under the house, supervising the work. She angled a camera around from the living room and pointed it at the small sphere speaking to her. “Unless These Humans Make Good Test Subjects Then I Have No Desire To Interact With Any Of Them,” she replied.

The little sphere shook back and forth, robotic chuckling leaking out of it’s ports. “Oh poor, one-sighted GLaDOS.” The metal body shut down, and rolled into the wall compartment, and dropped into the basement. The sphere opened, and it’s shell parts shifted as it took a more android form. “They’re fun to play with. Try it sometime, you stick in the mud.”

GLaDOS sent nanos out to check on some ports in the backyard and turned her ;large massive body back around. “And What Scientific Value Could That Have?” she asked coldly.

"Meeow" he replied as he used a power sander to file his "fingernails" down. "Let yourself loose every now and again, hun. Just watch the humans fight, then you’ll learn about human battle instincts or something." he said yawning.